Donald Trump Wins The Nomination!

Easy now, I am not predicting the future, nor weighing in on my politics.  I am, however, hoping to elicit strong emotions from you.  For a lot of people, avoiding political discussions at the dinner table or at gatherings is a way of preserving the peace.  Some people get out of control, driven by fear, frustration, anger, etc., and fail to manage their emotions in a socially acceptable manner.  One of the things I work on with my clients, is their ability to sit with and tolerate strong emotions, without the negative consequences that many of us suffer when we lose control.

It is precisely the idea of tolerating emotions that is the behavioral or practical side of interacting in a healthy, adaptive manner with others, the world, and ourselves.  Let me break this down into simple concepts: when we feel strong emotions, we have the potential to react in different ways, depending on how well we have learned to cope up until this point.  Our emotional growth and our ability to tolerate strong emotions are impacted by previous life experiences.  Exposure to trauma, abuse, neglect, addiction, and unhealthy attachment can cause us to use unhealthy or maladaptive coping skills (behaviors) when subjected to strong emotions.  Those with a good support system and healthy coping skills tend to make better decisions under emotional strain, understand that whatever emotion they are feeling in the moment is temporary, and can operate from a balanced emotional state.  Those with poor coping skills often react aggressively, inappropriately, or by shutting down, avoiding, or dissociating.

Here is one tool to help.  You've probably heard of the word/practice of mindfulness.  Practicing mindfulness is very useful for being able to experience strong emotions without letting them trigger you into behaviors that you'll regret or push you deeper into depression.  The connection between tolerating strong emotions and mindfulness is being able to acknowledge, in a nonjudgemental way, that we are feeling strong emotions, but recognize our power to control and regulate ourselves.  All of this is taking place in the moment, helping us feel more empowered to feel in control and to facilitate self-soothing.  Practicing mindfulness has gone beyond being a tool to reach for when in trouble and is now being used for improving the workplace experience, preventing burnout, and for living a more flourishing and satisfying life.  

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. 
If you are anxious you are living in the future. 
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
― Lao Tzu

 Mindfulness allows us to receive the gift we were given; the present.  Like most worthwhile pursuits, mindfulness takes time to get good at.  Thankfully, youtube, podcasts, smartphone apps, and the vast internet offer a ton of opportunities to find the right practice companions for you.  So why not explore mindfulness right now?  After all, there's no time like the present!