Cigarettes; Their Hidden Benefit

The last thing I thought I would do would be to write anything positive about cigarettes, however, read on and see if you agree...

You just had a big fight with a parent, spouse, or friend.  There was yelling, screaming, and lots of emotion being flung around.  Your heart is pounding and you're breathing very fast.  It feels as if you are going to come apart from all the emotional stress.  You fumble through your pocket and grab hold of your cigarettes.  Thankfully, you kept a lighter in your other pocket.  As you put the torch up to the cigarette dangling out of your mouth, you take a long hit and hold the smoke in your lungs for a few seconds, eventually exhaling.  This repeats itself as you breathe in and out making the wisps of smoke dance and spin through your nostrils and into the evening air.  Slowly, your heart beats more normally, not like it was when you were so upset.  You're not feeling great, but the crisis is over; you're not going to break apart or shatter like a delicate champagne glass.

In my work, I came to realize that what smoking does, more often that not, is help people relax.  Yes, there are chemicals in cigarettes that impact you, but a big part of why you calm down is because you slow down your breathing and your heart rate.  This then becomes habit.  So many kids tell me that after a big fight at home, they went outside to smoke and that smoking chilled them out.  There are other factors that help us to feel better, of course, like removing oneself from the source of conflict. Yet, understanding what you're doing, from a behavioral standpoint, allows you to extract the benefit and leave the butt behind.  

If you want to quit smoking, but are afraid to remove a coping skill that works, remind yourself that the cigarette isn't the skill.  It's the breathing.  Here's how it works: take the same approach of separating yourself from the source of conflict, then work on slowing down your breathing by taking a deep breath in, holding for a couple of seconds, and exhaling slowly.  Repeat the process until you feel your heart rate slow and your confidence in coping with the emotions grow.  If you are worried about smoking, but are afraid to remove a coping skill that works, remember that the cigarette isn't the skill.  It's the breathing.