IT'S TIME TO HIRE A GOOD DEFENSE ATTORNEY!

Distorted thoughts are often at the root of depression and anxiety.  When you are committed to the belief that you are either unsafe,  or unworthy, or unable,  or incapable, or bad,  or stupid, or defective, or ugly, etc. your feelings typically follow the lead of your belief.  Your feelings/mood don't care if your belief is based on nonsense, it just goes with it.  If I feel as if I can't go to the store because I'll have a panic attack, then I will feel very anxious about going to the store.  I won't feel safe, and I'll convince myself that I can't do it.  Not doing what I want or need to do will, or could, leave me feeling even worse about myself.  The downward spiral of negativity keeps on going, resulting in depressed mood, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and more anxiety.

Let's talk about guilt.  Typically, guilt comes after something bad happens and you know the result.  For example, someone close to you dies.  All the woulda, shoulda, and coulda's start to pile up. "I should have known he was struggling."  "I could have been a better friend."  "Why did I yell and complain so much."  "If only I was a better [fill in the blank], then she wouldn't have killed herself."  Can we keep it real?  Most of us could do better at all these things, but none of us are perfect.  Also, none of us knew for certain that the end result would be what it was; we are just playing Monday morning quarterback (that's when fans complain that their team would have won had they done things differently...after they know the outcome).

What does an attorney have to do with anything?  Please allow me to explain.  We human beings are often very hard on ourselves.  It's like we are in court and have a great prosecutor making a case against us: "Your boss hates you, you are always making mistakes, and you are going to lose your job." <crickets>  If there is no one making an argument in your defense, then the judge will find you guilty (the prosecutor's facts are the only ones considered). You are going to feel like your job security is gone and anxiety, depressed mood, hopelessness, and anger will be free to make you feel terrible. 

It's time to hire a good defense attorney!   Your attorney needs to poke holes in the prosecutor's case, ask for proof, challenge the accuracy of the charges, and make a case that the prosecutor is wrong. Why do you say the boss hates you?  "Well, he is always throwing last minute difficult assignments on my desk."  Could that be because he trusts that you will do good work and get the job done on time?  "Well, that is possible."  Is anyone in the office perfect, never making mistakes?  "Of course everyone makes mistakes, there are no perfect people.  My boss screwed something up just the other day."  How often are you really making mistakes?  "Come to think of it, I have been getting better and better at my work, making fewer mistakes this year than last."  As the case for your boss hating you and you losing your job falls apart, your mood will change as well. No longer will you be anxious and stressed about losing your job, since the original fearful thought was not true.  Instead of being miserable, you'll be able to feel better and have a more satisfying life..

Working on improving your mental health is not a passive exercise that happens once a week in therapy.  It takes effort and practice.  The more energy that is directed towards your well-being, the better the results will be.  In the short term, It is much easier to have a negative thought about yourself and let the "prosecutor" make the case why you'll always be a mess.  In the long term, so much energy will be used to fight off misery that you'll wish that you would have intervened sooner.  Get in there and challenge and debunk that negative thought as soon as you have it.  Do some reality checking, use the same level of compassion for yourself as you use for others, and become a great defense attorney for yourself.

Finally, when it comes to making the case for your health or the health of someone else, ask yourself whether the opposite can be true.  If you think that the pain in your head is a malignant brain tumor, ask yourself whether it may just be a simple headache. Maybe you haven't eaten enough today.  What is the proof that the negative thought is the more accurate one?  Most likely, there probably isn't any.  It's just a fear.  If thinking that it's just a headache makes you feel much better than thinking you are dying of brain cancer, why not think that way?  Your defense attorney is just as effective in debunking the case against you being deathly sick as he/she is with anything else.  Best of all, there is no charge for the best defense attorney money can buy.. Do you know why? That's right!  The best defense attorney is you!

I rest my case!