"When I Was Your Age..."

Many parents/guardians struggle with the task of talking to their kids about drugs.  If you live on Long Island, you have read many articles on heroin overdoses and deaths, synthetic drugs, the debate about marijuana, and, let's not forget, alcohol; yes, it's a drug too.  There are a few known things to most adults; drugs and alcohol can put any child at risk for death, legal problems, abuse (being raped, molested), permanent brain damage, pregnancy, automobile/motorcycle/skateboard accidents, and a whole host of financial losses (damage to property, cost of legal counsel, etc.).  So, need any more incentive to talk to your kids about drugs?

Let's talk!  It is really important is to set expectations monitor and supervise your children.  You need to set clear and appropriate consequences, provide positive feedback for positive behaviors/choices, and verbalize the connection between your love and concern and the talk you're having with them.  Easy, right?  No, because now you're trying to be completely honest and forthright, but you're feeling hyporcritical and guilty for not disclosing the lessons you learned from dabbling and how you now know what a big mistake that was.  If you are speaking with anyone younger than 25, your past SHOULD NOT BE DISCUSSED!  Here are the reasons:  1 - you say: "when I was your age, I tried angel dust and ended up getting arrested and lost my job.  I don't want that to happen to you." Your child hears: "it's okay to do drugs."  But wait!  You said not to do drugs.  The child's mind is not an adult mind. It interprets your language in a different way, especially around restricted behaviors.  2 - When your child asks whether you did drugs when you were their age, guess what?  You do not have to answer.  Don't lie, but the recommendation is not to disclose.  Cope with your guilt and redirect the talk where it belongs; on your child's behaviors.  "I understand you are curious, but we are not talking about me.  This is what I expect from you..."  Remember, assuaging your guilt tends to backfire, sending the wrong message.  3 -  Now, if you've never indulged, which is not as rare as you might think, please carry on and disclose your past as a model example of the behaviors you'd like to see from you child.

Just a quick note on some protective factors found on the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA website: www.drugabuse.gov): family bonding, drug education, parental monitoring and supervision, academic competence, anti-drug policy enforcement in school, child's competency at self-control, the child's attachment to the community.  Risk factors include exposure to peers who are substance users, lack of parental supervision, early aggressive behaviors, poverty, and availability of drugs in schools.  Full article here: http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/preventing-drug-abuse-among-children-adolescents/chapter-1-risk-factors-protective-factors/what-are-risk-factors